Journals

                  Emotions - Approval & Validation !!! 

                                            What is it that should bother, why can't people care.

When there is an expectation and we know there could be one, why can't it be met ? Why is the bigger person always the one who lets go of why and what they wanted in the first place. Because in dealing with the expectation, why are we exposed to our vulnerability and losing a bit of ourselves also in that situation... We can't say what we want because when we do, it will be looked at as an expectation which we shouldn't have had in the first place. When we dont say it, we let it get buried and are unable to express ourselves (the core of who we are and what we think is gone)

Why do I crave for someone who can show me abundant love, be there for me without me wanting to express why and what I need from them or show them that I need it ? I am always showing love to people, do I just never give a break to showing it that chokes people, do they let that go because they don't think they can make that cut with me ?

It is so exhausting to keep giving, to keep showing, to keep proving to people that I care about them, check in on them, leave things around for them. Do things that no one could dream of.

And when I feel bad for me not receiving anything, I get told that I have high expectations. I get told that I have enough and I am over reacting. I get told I should change myself. Why ???